4.20.2011

loving your husband more - first 50

HOW TO LOVE YOUR HUSBAND MORE
Discuss this list with your husband. Ask him to check the ones most meaningful to him and then arrange them in order of importance to him. Use this list as a basis for learning his views. Your relationship can be greatly strengthened as you use these suggestions.
1. Respectfully communicate with him.
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings ¬even when you disagree with him.
4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy.
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (Dave Ramsey)
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. Be tender with him realizing he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion and giving him time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems; ¬have fun instead.
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. Recognize that the first few minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. So try to make the first few minutes a positive experience. (And then ease into the negative if it’s necessary.)
17. Give him half an hour to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be much more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully. Be the one to defend him to any family member that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Compliment him often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to work on to achieve together so you will both feel closer to each other as a marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Remember that love protects (1 Corinthians 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well¬; not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he’s not tired).
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific reasons).
36. Give advice in a loving way ¬ not in a nagging or belittling way.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he’s not there.
43. Share your feelings with him at appropriate times (but keep it brief when he’s tired: sometimes men can feel “flooded” by too many words).
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ respectfully in private when necessary).
46. Give him time to unwind for a little while after he comes home from work. Arrange ahead of time to take your “time out”, giving him a few minutes with the children.
47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him. (Hopefully you can go back to sleep afterwards. If not, it’s a sacrifice worth making.)
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Do some shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie or taking a drive together) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.

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