12.13.2007

being an ate

Being an 'ate' is a big deal for me. I love this role so much. I have been doing it for almost 29 years now and still counting. I know that I am not just an 'ate' to my siblings but to my younger cousins (especially on my father's side of family where I am the eldest apo) and to some friends as well. I had many experiences already on how to be a fair ate to everyone. I have my share of favorites but I never based my judgements on it whenever they did something wrong.

So why am I writing about this? This is because I am now in a household where I cannot give justice to my being an 'ate'. I can no longer say what I wanted to say. I just keep quiet even if I hear unfair words from a younger sibling. I am not being a martyr here. I just know where I should stand. In my entire life, I was only able to say P* for a couple of times when I am extremely angry... but with what I am feeling now, that's the only word I want to say... hay... I don't want to cry but I just can't help it...

I just keep on keeping in my mind that i just have a few more days... and I'll be out of here totally!

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